Fit the Fifth: The Beaver’s Lesson

  1. The Hunting
  2. The Hunting of the Snark
  3. The Barrister’s Dream
    • They sought it with thimbles, they sought it with care;
    • They pursued it with forks and hope;
    • They threatened its life with a railway-share;
    • They charmed it with smiles and soap.
    • Then the Butcher contrived an ingenious plan
    • For making a separate sally;
    • And had fixed on a spot unfrequented by man,
    • A dismal and desolate valley.
    • But the very same plan to the Beaver occurred:
    • It had chosen the very same place:
    • Yet neither betrayed, by a sign or a word,
    • The disgust that appeared in his face.
    • Each thought he was thinking of nothing but “Snark”
    • And the glorious work of the day;
    • And each tried to pretend that he did not remark
    • That the other was going that way.
    • But the valley grew narrow and narrower still,
    • And the evening got darker and colder,
    • Till (merely from nervousness, not from goodwill)
    • They marched along shoulder to shoulder.
    • Then a scream, shrill and high, rent the shuddering sky,
    • And they knew that some danger was near:
    • The Beaver turned pale to the tip of its tail,
    • And even the Butcher felt queer.
    • He thought of his childhood, left far far behind—
    • That blissful and innocent state—
    • The sound so exactly recalled to his mind
    • A pencil that squeaks on a slate!
    • “‘Tis the voice of the Jubjub!” he suddenly cried.
    • (This man, that they used to call “Dunce”.)
    • “As the Bellman would tell you,”, he added with pride,
    • “I have uttered that sentiment once.
    • “‘Tis the voice of the Jubjub! Keep count, I entreat;
    • You will find I have told it you twice.
    • Tis the song of the Jubjub! The proof is complete,
    • If only I’ve stated it thrice.”
    • The Beaver had counted with scrupulous care,
    • Attending to every word:
    • But it fairly lost heart, and outgrabe in despair,
    • When the third repetition occurred.
    • It felt that, in spite of all possible pains,
    • It had somehow contrived to lose count,
    • And the only thing now was to rack its poor brains
    • By reckoning up the amount.
    • “Two added to one—if that could but be done”,
    • It said, “with one’s fingers and thumbs!”
    • Recollecting with tears how, in earlier years,
    • It had taken no pains with its sums.
    • “The thing can be done,”, said the Butcher, “I think.
    • The thing must be done, I am sure.
    • The thing shall be done! Bring me paper and ink,
    • The best there is time to procure.”
    • The Beaver brought paper, portfolio, pens,
    • And ink in unfailing supplies:
    • While strange creepy creatures came out of their dens,
    • And watched them with wondering eyes.
    • So engrossed was the Butcher, he heeded them not,
    • As he wrote with a pen in each hand,
    • And explained all the while in a popular style,
    • Which the Beaver could well understand.
    • “Taking Three as the subject to reason about—
    • A convenient number to state—
    • We add Seven, and Ten, and then multiply out
    • By One Thousand diminished by Eight.
    • “The result we proceed to divide, as you see,
    • By Nine Hundred and Ninety and Two:
    • Then subtract Seventeen, and the answer must be
    • Exactly and perfectly true.
    • “The method employed I would gladly explain,
    • While I have it so clear in my head,
    • If I had but the time and you had but the brain—
    • But much yet remains to be said.
    • “In one moment I’ve seen what has hitherto been
    • Enveloped in absolute mystery,
    • And without extra charge I will give you at large
    • A Lesson in Natural History.”
    • In his genial way he proceeded to say
    • (Forgetting all laws of propriety,
    • And that giving instruction, without introduction,
    • Would have caused quite a thrill in Society),
    • “As to temper the Jubjub’s a desperate bird,
    • Since it lives in perpetual passion:
    • Its taste in costume is entirely absurd—
    • It is ages ahead of the fashion:
    • “But it knows any friend it has met once before:
    • It never will look at a bribe:
    • And in charity-meetings it stands at the door,
    • And collects—though it does not subscribe.
    • “Its flavour when cooked is more exquisite far
    • Than mutton, or oysters, or eggs:
    • (Some think it keeps best in an ivory jar,
    • And some, in mahogany kegs;)
    • “You boil it with sawdust: you salt it in glue:
    • You condense it with locusts and tape:
    • Still keeping one principal object in view—
    • To preserve its symmetrical shape.”
    • The Butcher would gladly have talked till next day,
    • But he felt that the Lesson must end,
    • And he wept with delight in attempting to say
    • He considered the Beaver his friend.
    • While the Beaver confessed, with affectionate looks
    • More eloquent even than tears,
    • It had learned in ten minutes far more than all books
    • Would have taught it in seventy years.
    • They returned hand-in-hand, and the Bellman, unmanned
    • (For a moment) with noble emotion,
    • Said “This amply repays all the wearisome days
    • We have spent on the billowy ocean!”
    • Such friends, as the Beaver and Butcher became,
    • Have seldom if ever been known;
    • In winter or summer, ’twas always the same—
    • You could never meet either alone.
    • And when quarrels arose—as one frequently finds
    • Quarrels will, spite of every endeavour—
    • The song of the Jubjub recurred to their minds,
    • And cemented their friendship for ever!
  1. The Hunting
  2. The Hunting of the Snark
  3. The Barrister’s Dream