Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
Servings: 2
Preparation Time: 5 minutes
Steps
- 2 ounces (1 1/3 shot) Sapphire Bombay depending on the size of the cup or drinking glass (our racial memory is unsure if Sapphire Bombay or Blue Curacao is correct here).
- 1 ounce (2/3 shot) vodka. For full effect, use a time machine to place a fresh jalapeno in the bottle of vodka five years before the party. Otherwise, consider mixing a pinch—a tiny pinch—of cayenne into the vodka the night before, along with a jalapeno.
- Fill just under to the halfway mark with orange juice (our racial memory seems to allow triple sec here. I feel that’s a result of contamination with the Golgafrinchams; or on second thought, their contamination with cavemen).
- Fill the rest of the way with sparkling lemonade (such as Geyer Traditional Sparkling Lemonade).
- Drop in some ice.
- Garnish with a slice of lemon.
There are a number of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster recipes available on the web. Some of them seem to buy too deeply into the Guide’s exaggerations on the potency of the drink. The guide, while certainly a remarkable book, is also wildly inaccurate and contains much which is contradictory. I think it is clear from the actual drinking that goes on in the books that the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster is the kind of drink that you drink from a wicker sun chair and which royally fucks you up long before you realize you’re fucked up.
That is, I subscribe to the “slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick” recipe rather than the nearly pure alcohol with an olive a few paragraphs later.
I’m almost certain that somewhere in the book, a real Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster even had an umbrella in it.
This recipe assumes a reasonably sized plastic drinking cup. R2, most likely, if drinking cups were measured in R-ratings, which they should be.
I don’t know if they come in standard sizes, but the silver shaker that came with my cheap bar set is R4. That is, it takes and makes a double recipe so that you can, once you’ve moved the appropriate green pieces of paper, share with another person.
While the act of shaking the drink is impressive and thus very worthwhile, do not shake more than once, or twice at the most. A spinning motion is probably more appropriate. This is a powerful drink and is apt to explode if shaken violently.
When the vodka is gone, whoever feels most like a caveman rather than a marketing executive should break the glass and eat the pepper.
- Douglas Adams
- Lots of hype about Douglas Adams, but includes a number of good articles and such about and by Adams on the “DNA” link.
More Douglas Adams
- Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
- While a decent enough movie, this adaptation of Douglas Adams’ brilliant satire drops the satire and ultimately doesn’t do anything different than most other movies today.
- Pan-Galactic Towel Day
- May 25 is towel day, a day of peace, love, and high-alcohol drinks. Bring your towel. Recipe for Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster included.
- The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
- One’s never alone with a rubber duck, you know. This is the most brilliant, inspired nonsensical satire since Lewis Carroll.
More drink
- Real frothin’ eggnog
- You are going to need a straw to drink this eggnog—because it’s too frothy to pour out of your glass.
- Moko Mojito
- Mojitos are a simple and refreshing drink for the summer, and a great choice when you’re feeling like a pirate... or hoping to feel a pirate.
More recipe
- Vermont Boiled Cider Pi
- If you’ve got a bunch of cider, one of the ways to preserve it is to turn it into boiled cider. And one of the best ways to use boiled cider is to make a Vermont cider pie!
- Salted, roasted, pumpkin seeds
- As we continue our quest to use all of Jack’s body parts, it is time to progress to his innards. Here is a simple, delicious use for your Hallowe’en pumpkin’s seeds. Jack’s got guts, I’ll say that for him!
- Oktoberfest Sauerkraut for Potato Day
- This simple sauerkraut casserole turns into an amazing National Potato Day treat when topped with mashed potato.
- Mango macadamia pie for π day
- This creamy mango pie with a macadamia nut topping is perfect for π day. Celebrate the impending end of winter with a bit of the tropics.
- Ice cream from your home freezer
- You can make great ice cream with whole eggs, egg yolks, and egg whites. You can even make it without eggs at all. All you need is syrup and cream—and a refrigerator with a freezer or a standalone home freezer.
- 85 more pages with the topic recipe, and other related pages