Would you believe… conservative nude pics?

I’ve never been a fan of gaming search engines to bomb legitimate traffic. Sometimes I think Google should just drop the “I’m feeling lucky” button completely. It’s worthless for legitimate searches. All it does is enable hacks such as returning “no results” for “French Military victories”, which, as I write this, still works six years later.

I used to keep a few bombs from both sides of the aisle memorized so that when someone showed me one of these tricks, I would counter with something I knew they wouldn’t like. Lately, however, the game has been getting progressively worse. Yes, it’s bad enough to try and label someone a failure without actually addressing why; and even worse to make it look like there were no search results at all for legitimate searches.

But lately these hacks have become a lot more demeaning, if not more partisan. They’re no longer about making a statement but about making a threat. The threat is, shut the fuck up or see yourself and your family photoshopped and the sexist and demeaning photoshops hacked to the top of search rankings.

As far as I can tell, this technique is nearly exclusively limited to Democratic attacks against attractive conservative women; if an attractive woman speaks her mind and leans conservative, she can expect to join the ranks of conservative nudes.

Robert Stacy McCain has learned that the bomb can be countered with what I’m calling a Google grenade. Grenades, after all (as I’m seeing repeatedly in Matt Burden’s The Blog of War^•) are used defensively as often as they’re used as an attack. I first saw him doing it to grab top spots for Carrie Prejean nude and now he’s perfecting the technique with Hannah Giles bikini.

A friend just told me that Hannah Giles was “hurt” by my seizing the Hannah Giles bikini Google-bomb last week. But I know how the Left works, and I knew what was coming as soon as Hannah became famous, as did other smart conservatives in the blogosphere. Respectful conservative bloggers now own all the top Google-searche results for those photos and Little Miss Attila has also protected this fine Christian girl against Hannah Giles nude and Hannah Giles sex video.

Get there the first with the most. The clueless perverts who visit will also help. Take a look at the commenters in Little Miss Attila’s Hannah Giles nude photo post. They have no idea what she’s doing and she’s stringing them along—and in the process they’re talking up the nude grenade she’s set off.

Of course, this technique absolutely requires watching for inappropriate links in your comments. She seems to have that under control, too.

This technique can’t block the bombs completely. All it can do is block the evil “I’m feeling lucky” button by ensuring that the top rank is held by the grenade, not by the bomb. And it also provides useful links about the actual news event on the front page of search results. The grenade is a valid defense against an insidious attack. Who in their right mind would think that, because Acorn is legitimately in the news, Photoshopping the reporters who broke the story is a reasonable counter-argument?