In Elfland, darling. Its one of the provinces of Fairyland.
But I thought Elfland was ever so far from Outland: and weve come such a tiny little way!
You came by the Royal Road, sweet one. Only those of royal blood can travel along it: but youve been royal ever since I was made King of Elfland thats nearly a month ago. They sent two ambassadors, to make sure that their invitation to me, to be their new King, should reach me. One was a Prince; so he was able to come by the Royal Road, and to come invisibly to all but me: the other was a Baron; so he had to come by the common road, and I dare say he hasnt even arrived yet.
Then how far have we come? Sylvie enquired.
Just a thousand miles, sweet one, since the Gardener unlocked that door for you.
A thousand miles! Bruno repeated. And may I eat one?
Eat a mile, little rogue?
No, said Bruno. I mean may I eat one of that fruits?
Yes, child, said his father: and then youll find out what Pleasure is like--the Pleasure we all seek so madly, and enjoy so mournfully!
Bruno ran eagerly to the wall, and picked a fruit that was shaped something like a banana, but had the colour of a strawberry.
He ate it with beaming looks, that became gradually more gloomy, and were very blank indeed by the time he had finished.
It hasnt got no taste at all! he complained. I couldnt feel nuffin in my mouf! Its a--whats that hard word, Sylvie?
It was a Phlizz, Sylvie gravely replied. Are they all like that, father?
Theyre all like that to you, darling, because you dont belong to Elfland--yet. But to me they are real.
Bruno looked puzzled. Ill try anuvver kind of fruits! he said, and jumped down off the Kings knee. Theres some lovely striped ones, just like a rainbow! And off he ran.
Meanwhile the Fairy-King and Sylvie were talking together, but in such low tones that I could not catch the words: so I followed Bruno, who was picking and eating other kinds of fruit, in the vain hope of finding some that had a taste. I tried to pick so me myself--but it was like grasping air, and I soon gave up the attempt and returned to Sylvie.
Look well at it, my darling, the old man was saying, and tell me how you like it.
Its just lovely, cried Sylvie, delightedly. Bruno, come and look! And she held up, so that he might see the light through it, a heart-shaped Locket, apparently cut out of a single jewel, of a rich blue colour, with a slender gold chain attached to it.
It are welly pretty, Bruno more soberly remarked: and he began spelling out some words inscribed on it. All--will--love---Sylvie, he made them out at last. And so they doos! he cried, clasping his arms round her neck. Everybody loves Sylvie!
But we love her best, dont we, Bruno? said the old King, as he took possession of the Locket. Now, Sylvie, look at this. And he showed her, lying on the palm of his hand, a Locket of a deep crimson colour, the same shape as the blue one and, like it, attached to a slender golden chain.
Lovelier and lovelier! exclaimed Sylvie, clasping her hands in ecstasy. Look, Bruno!
And theres words on this one, too, said Bruno. Sylvie--will--love--all.
Now you see the difference, said the old man: different colours and different words.
Choose one of them, darling. Ill give you whichever you like best.
Sylvie whispered the words, several times over, with a thoughtful
smile, and then made her decision. Its very nice to be loved, she
said: but its nicer to love other people! May I have the red one,
Father?
The old man said nothing: but I could see his eyes fill with tears, as he bent his head and pressed his lips to her forehead in a long loving kiss. Then he undid the chain, and showed her how to fasten it round her neck, and to hide it away under the edge of her frock. Its for you to keep you know he said in a low voice, not for other people to see. Youll remember how to use it?
Yes, Ill remember, said Sylvie.
And now darlings its time for you to go back or theyll be missing you and then that poor Gardener will get into trouble!
Once more a feeling of wonder rose in my mind as to how in the world we
were to get back again--since I took it for granted that wherever the
children went I was to go--but no shadow of doubt seemed to cross
their minds as they hugged and kissed him murmuring over and over again
Good-bye darling Father! And then suddenly and swiftly the darkness
of midnight seemed to close in upon us and through the darkness
harshly rang a strange wild song:--
That was me! he added, looking out at us, through the half-opened door, as we stood waiting in the road. And thats what Id have done--as sure as potatoes arent radishes --if she hadnt have tooken herself off! But I always loves my pay-rints like anything.He thought he saw a Buffalo Upon the chimney-piece: He looked again, and found it was His Sisters Husbands Niece. Unless you leave this house, he said, Ill send for the Police!
Who are oor pay-rints? said Bruno.
Them as pay rint for me, a course! the Gardener replied. You can come in now, if you like.
He flung the door open as he spoke, and we got out, a little dazzled and stupefied (at least I felt so) at the sudden transition from the half-darkness of the railway-carriage to the brilliantly-lighted platform of Elveston Station.
A footman, in a handsome livery, came forwards and respectfully touched his hat. The carriage is here, my Lady, he said, taking from her the wraps and small articles she was carrying: and Lady Muriel, after shaking hands and bidding me Good-night! with a pleasant smile, followed him.
It was with a somewhat blank and lonely feeling that I betook myself to the van from which the luggage was being taken out: and, after giving directions to have my boxes sent after me, I made my way on foot to Arthurs lodgings, and soon lost my lonely feeling in the hearty welcome my old friend gave me, and the cozy warmth and cheerful light of the little sitting-room into which he led me.
Little, as you see, but quite enough for us two. Now, take the easy-chair, old fellow, and lets have another look at you! Well, you do look a bit pulled down! and he put on a solemn professional air. I prescribe Ozone, quant. suff. Social dissipation, fiant pilulæ quam plurimæ: to be taken, feasting, three times a day!
But, Doctor! I remonstrated. Society doesnt receive three times a day!
Thats all you know about it! the young Doctor gaily replied. " At home, lawn-tennis, 3 P.M. At home, kettledrum, 5 P.M. At home, music (Elveston doesnt give dinners), 8 P.M. Carriages at 10. There you are!
It sounded very pleasant, I was obliged to admit. And I know some of the lady-society already, I added. One of them came in the same carriage with me
What was she like? Then perhaps I can identify her.
The name was Lady Muriel Orme. As to what she was like--well,
I thought her very beautiful. Do you know her?
Yes--I do know her. And the grave Doctor coloured slightly as he
added Yes, I agree with you. She is beautiful.
I quite lost my heart to her! I went on mischievously. We
talked--
Have some supper! Arthur interrupted with an air of relief, as the
maid entered with the tray. And he steadily resisted all my attempts to
return to the subject of Lady Muriel until the evening had almost worn
itself away. Then, as we sat gazing into the fire, and conversation was
lapsing into silence, he made a hurried confession.
I hadnt meant to tell you anything about her, he said (naming no
names, as if there were only one she in the world!) till you had
seen more of her, and formed your own judgment of her: but somehow you
surprised it out of me. And Ive not breathed a word of it to any one
else. But I can trust you with a secret, old friend! Yes! Its true of
me, what I suppose you said in jest.
In the merest jest, believe me! I said earnestly. Why, man, Im
three times her age! But if shes your choice, then Im sure shes all
that is good and--
--and sweet, Arthur went on, and pure, and self-denying, and
true-hearted, and-- he broke off hastily, as if he could not trust
himself to say more on a subject so sacred and so precious. Silence
followed: and I leaned back drowsily in my easy-chair, filled with
bright and beautiful imaginings of Arthur and his lady-love, and of all
the peace and happiness in store for them.
I pictured them to myself walking together, lingeringly and lovingly,
under arching trees, in a sweet garden of their own, and welcomed back
by their faithful gardener, on their return from some brief excursion.
It seemed natural enough that the gardener should be filled with
exuberant delight at the return of so gracious a master and mistress
and how strangely childlike they looked! I could have taken them for
Sylvie and Bruno less natural that he should show it by such wild
dances, such crazy songs!
If it were not for those two brats, I heard him mutter, glancing
savagely at Sylvie and Bruno, who were courteously listening to the
Gardeners song, there would be no difficulty whatever.
Lets hear that bit of the letter again, said my Lady. And the
Vice-Warden read aloud:-
--and we therefore entreat you graciously to accept the Kingship, to
which you have been unanimously elected by the Council of Elfland: and
that you will allow your son Bruno of whose goodness, cleverness, and
beauty, reports have reached us--to be regarded as Heir-Apparent.
But whats the difficulty? said my Lady.
Why, dont you see? The Ambassador, that brought this, is waiting in
the house: and hes sure to see Sylvie and Bruno: and then, when he
sees Uggug, and remembers all that about goodness, cleverness, and
beauty, why, hes sure to--
And where will you find a better boy than Uggug? my Lady indignantly
interrupted. Or a wittier, or a lovelier?
To all of which the Vice-Warden simply replied Dont you be a great
blethering goose! Our only chance is to keep those two brats out of
sight. If you can manage that, you may leave the rest
to me. Ill make
him believe Uggug to be a model of cleverness and all that.
We must change his name to Bruno, of course? said my Lady.
The Vice-Warden rubbed his chin. Humph! No! he said musingly.
Wouldnt do. The boys such an utter idiot, hed never learn to answer
to it.
Idiot, indeed! cried my Lady. Hes no more an idiot than I am!
Youre right, my dear, the Vice-Warden soothingly I replied. He
isnt, indeed!
My Lady was appeased. Lets go in and receive the Ambassador, she
said, and beckoned to the Professor. Which room is he waiting in? she
inquired.
In the Library, Madam.
And what did you say his name was? said the Vice-Warden.
The Professor referred to a card he held in his hand. His Adiposity
the Baron Doppelgeist.
Why does he come with such a funny name? said my Lady.
He couldnt well change it on the journey, the Professor meekly
replied, because of the luggage.
You go and receive him, my Lady said to the Vice-Warden, and Ill
attend to the children.
--least natural of all that the Vice-Warden and my Lady should be
standing close beside me, discussing an open letter, which had just been handed to him
by the Professor, who stood, meekly waiting, a few yards off.
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
The one thing I regret, he said,
Is that it cannot speak!