From: [Marc Emery] at [mindlink.bc.ca] (Marc Emery) Newsgroups: alt.drugs Subject: Multiple Sclerosis Victim SAVED by marijuana. Date: Tue, 13 Dec 94 12:30:07 -0800 This is from the upcoming Marijuana & Hemp Newsmagazine #5, and is a permanent file in our medical marijuana files at WWW site HEMP BC TO THE WORLD being filled today at: http://www.cyberstore.ca/HEMPWEB/HEMPMAIN.HTML or http://www.hempbc.com/HEMPMAIN.HTML It is the story of 51 year old Mary Ann Roze of Trail, British Columbia. A brief histoiry of my multiple sclerosis: In 1982, I began visiting every doctor imaginable . Something was wrong with my eyes. At times, everything I saw was in a fog but what really frightened me and made me damn determined to find out what was wrong, happened one night while I was laying around watching TV. Without any pain or warning of any kind, my vision became extremely foggy and everything in the room became a blur beyond recognition, until in a matter of minutes, those magical pictures on my TV screen faded away to basic black. I was completely blind. It lasted (this first time) for about 18 hours and then my vision returned to normal. I spent the whole year of 1982 trying to find a medical reason for what was happening to my eyes but the medical profession was baffled. Then I began to experience what I thought were "female problems" . But I couldn't figure it out. At times I felt the need to "bare down" like we women do when we're about to give birth, like I was having contractions. But I certainly wasn't pregnant and at 34, I felt I was too young to be suffering from prolapse (when us young girls get older, our female parts loose their firmness and begin to "fall" and drop - prolapse). I went to a gynocologist. After examining me, he asked me to wait in his office. There he began to ask me some pretty strange questions for a gynocologist. Like did I have pain or numbness in my arms or legs? Did I have difficulty talking or expressing myself and - DID I HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH MY EYES? Well, I lost it. I think I went nuts right there in his office. Doctors had been giving me a run around for years over symptoms, no one seemed able to diagnose. I grabbed my jacket and when out of there , screaming at the doctor: "What do my eyes have to do with my ass?". I broke down and cried, but the doctor remained calm, cool, called his nurse in to calm me down and told me that I was experiencing not prolapse but a very specific form of muscle wasting that he'd seen before, in people who had multiple sclerosis. He called my family doctor. Many tests later I was diagnosed with MS. Eventually, I was bedridden without bladder control, an inability to move my legs, an inability to use my arms or hands except in jerky movements, no bowel function, very little vision, pain in my eyes, legs, and arms.... basically, I could hear. That's all I had left. I was in complete despair. Treatments I've Tried: If I had enough money, I'd go in search of that great lost crystal of Atlantis. Since I don't have that kind of money, I settle for treatments that I've researched. I've never used steroids or drugs recommended by the medical profession. I use, and continue to use, herbs, vitamins, and concoctions I make up intuitively. I do high enemas, I exercise, I use meditation and visualization. Of course, I have my "down days" and on those days , I eat junk food, smoke cigarettes and curse at the moon. It all helps. How Marijuana Helps: It seems to be allowing me to have part of my life back. I'm beginning to fell forty again (I'm 51). In reality (now that's a statement) I believe what's helped most over the years is my positive attitude, my spirituality and sensuality. But marijuana is making a jumbo difference in the areas of symptoms, especially pain, that had (notice the word had) been uncontrollable. I confess, I will smoke, drink, inhale, eat or stuff into all my private parts, if I have to, that green & orange gem, marijuana, because it is the ONLY thing that has produced positive, quick results for pain and the side effects, literally, blow my mind away. The side-effects I am talking about that are brought on by marijuana, include: 1) less spastic problems in legs 2) more control over co-ordination 3) normal bowel functions 4) strength 5) I'm enjoying sex again 6) feels like I've lost weight even though I've gained twenty pounds Hey, I'm gardening, hiking, and running the household again. I'm alive. I'm living. The Diary of Mary Ann Roze: July 9, 1994. Craig (my son) told me that there are some amazing discoveries that show marijuana can help MS people.... I tried smoking a joint last year, and it was a horrible experience; one I never wanted to have again. I had smoked this one joint someone had given me on that day because I was suffering with pain. It took all the pain away all right, but the side effects were frightening! Within minutes of smoking this joint, I experienced mood changes every five minutes! I went from happy to depressed; to full energy to collapsing fatigue; to actually having the urge to bang my head against the bricks! I mean, I'm a flower-child at heart.... BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST BRICKS!?.... was something I wouldn't be thinking about. So I tucked myself into my nice, safe bed and pulled my safe covers around me and kept saying "I'm in control"... July 11, 1994 The only time throughout this day that is never-ending, when trhe pain isn't so dominating, has been 20 minutes during my meditation time. It is so terrible to be suffering like this. Suffering describes perfectly how I feel because every part of my body (except teeth) is in pain. I hate this. When the pain is this bad, I just cannot function. I can do nothing but suffer. I cannot take any pain medication because my bladder won't function on pain medications of a pharmoceutical kind. That (codeine) is what I have used for pain but now I can't use it, the risk of retaining my urine is too high. I just suffer. July 12, 1994 OK, I'm ready. I can't take this pain another minute. Hey Craig (my son), I'm listening now. Tell me how well this marijuana will make me feel... July 13, 1994 I have been in relapse since the second week of May. I can "take it", I really can, BUT, BUT... I'm so depressed today. More company has arrived. They come at a time when it is difficult for me to raise my one good arm. My hair is a mess. I cannot even stand the clothes on my body, the pain is so bad, so I've got a raggy old nightie on. I can't do housework, the place is dusty, the fridge is empty... So, company has come. People who have not "seen" me for a few years. People who will think I look like death warmed over. People who will say I'm not long for this world. People who will feel sorry for Garnet (my husband), for having an invalid around. And yes, people who will never offer to tidy up the house for me, or offer to cook a meal or even ask if there is anything they can do for me. Reality is, I would hate it if they did. Well, no, not now I wouldn't. I used to feel that way. I used to feel like telling everyone to go to hell. Like this is my problem and I'll fucking handle it. But not now. There are times when I really need help... But I do not want company here. Not today. Not now. It is so awful, to put a smile on my face and pretend like nothing is wrong. Sometimes I think of having a T-shirt made up that says " I have MS and I'm suffering today". Sometimes, my MS is so invisible, no one cane see I'm dying. Pain doesn't show on the outside, so no one sees it. Got those interesting books though. I am actually reading them (Pain, Spasm, & Marijuana Therapy by Galen Press; Marijuana: The Forbidden Medicine by Lester Grinspoon). One is really interesting. It is case studies about people who have M.S. and how they have been helped by marijuana. So I am giving this serious thought. Craig (my son) would say "It's about time". Maybe it is but I am still scared to experiment with this stuff. July 14, 1994 I went to my doctor today. The last time I was in, there was hardly any neurological response on my left side of my body. Today I had hardly any feeling from the waist down. I can barely bend my right leg and the left one is dragging and with excruciating pain I have manipulate it into any position at all. I cannot move my right arm or hand. I can move my left hand a little but I cannot grip. My stomach is swollen and I look pregnant because I cannot go to the bathroom. My eyes are a blur and I have very little side vision. It is like I am looking down a tunnel. I told my doctor I can live with all these problems but I cannot stand the PAIN. I CANNOT STAND THE PAIN ANYMORE! I told her (my doctor) that I had always stayed away from steroids and heavy narcotics because of the side effects of these drugs. Then I put the Marijuana book on her desk, about PAIN & MARIJUANA THERAPY. I finally said it -marijuana- aloud. Honestly, before going into the office, I imagined the whole scene in my mind. I imagined she would explode when I told her, and order me out of her office. But it didn't happen like that at all. She told me she knew nothing about marijuana and its use, only that cancer patients use it sometimes. But she would look into it for me. I was on top of the world that I had finally gotten the nerve up to go and talk to her about it. Then my father in Vancouver called. I expected him to tell me how proud he was of me, having gone to my doctor and asked to use marijuana legally. But he wasn't. My father said marijuana was great (for recreation?) but would not do any good (for M.S.) . That it was a waste of time. What I should do, he said, was get some and experiment with it, to see, first of all, if it is going to work. Why should I put my doctor all through the paperwork and legal stuff, if I did not know if it was even going to work. He told me I needed to smoke it right now! He's right, I have to, but I'm scared... July 17, 1994. My sweet baby, Garnet (partner), is now buying illegal drugs for me. I don't like that. I got up feeling very positive about beginning my first experimentation with marijuana. I made a cup of tea, put in an amount of marijuana on a slice of buttered bread. Then I ate my marijuana sandwich. Then.... nothing. No noticeable reaction at all. I was feeling the same as I had the day I had gone to the doctor, so an hour after eating the marijuana, I rolled my first "joint". Then about five minutes after smoking this, I had an experience that felt like I had a reaction to Niacin. Did you ever take Niacin? Sometimes it causes, what doctors call, "flushing" This is a normal niacin reaction, in that the skin turns red, tingling sensations occur and you feel warm all over. I wondered how much niacin was in marijuana... Fifteen minutes later, things began to happen dramatically and I noticed... 1) most of the pain was...gone!!!!!!!!!! 2) I felt like I had lost weight, like a big weight was physically removed from my shoulders 3) I had more energy! 4) my legs are now more easily moveable, they feel rubbery but the spasticity is almost gone 5) vision is restored to normal 6) sickness to my stomach is gone and my co-ordination is VASTLY improved 7) I urinated without straining 8) I can take a bowel movement too, it is like I have taken a laxative. Amazing! And other things I noticed too: * I feel as if I have had those three drinks of rum that I usually have a Christmas. I feel "tipsy", very happy. * I was coughing so bad I thought I would never stop. My chest feels as if I have burned it, my throat feels raw * food tastes better I didn't feel any "bad" side-effects, the paranoid reactions never happened. I always felt fully in control and able to concentrate normally. July 18, 1994 Today there is an effect from eating the marijuana as a sandwich, that yesterday I did not notice until later in the day. Eventually, I became so exhausted, wiped out, that I had to go to bed. My body felt as though it had gone to sleep and I didn't give a damn if I was awake or not. "I" slept off and on while my body slept continuously. Ha Ha. I woke up in the night and all my symptoms returned. I cried. I dragged myself out of bed, downstairs and rolled my second joint. It kept falling apart, I was shaking so bad (just another M.S. thing). Finally, I smoked it. Ten minutes later, the same miraculous recovery as yesterday. I went back to bed and slept for five hours. (Usually, I'm lucky in relapse to get three hours sleep, the pain is so bad, falling asleep is almost impossible). By this morning (of the 18th), about half the symptoms had returned and so after waiting to see if it would become worse, I finally had to give in a smoke joint number three; as all symptoms had resurfaced 100%. July 20, 1994 For the first time in two months, I felt like going to town to get some groceries and to at last get out of the house. I "smoked up" before I got a ride into town (my drivers licence being revoked two years ago because of my M.S.). I just went slow. I mean it was like I was learning to walk all over again and my legs were very weak. I spent the whole day like this and naturally I was exhausted, by smoking another marijuana "J" I was [pain free all day. July 25, 1994 My little supply of Marijuana is almost gone. I only have enough for two more smokes. My throat is raw. My chest feels raw. I am coughing during the day. I am wheezing and seem short-winded. I am sort of believing that this will pass and I have begun taking marshmellow and comfrey root (I am a registered herbalist). It seems as if my need for water is greater. I combined a bit of marijuana with dried comfrey to see if it wouldn't be "easier going down" and it was excellent. Only problem was it burned too fast. I'll try another combination when I get a bigger supply of marijuana. July 27 - positive report July 28 - Out of marijuana now. You know this morning, I feel almost normal. I got up at 8 and its now 10:30 and I still feel the same as I did when I first got up. I only have a little pain in the arms and legs. Everything else is gone. And I have not smoked anything today. Today I walked outside. I looked at my frail garden and all my flower beds... It was the first time in a month that I'd even been able to go outside and look at them. It has been well over a month since I'd done any of this. It had been too difficult with M.S. to do any of this. It is like I am experiencing some miracle cure! I have gone in and out of relapses for the last twenty years. I do not have Progressive Multiple Sclerosis; I have the other kind, where I never know how I'm going to be from day to day. August 17 Its a beautiful day in the neighbourhood, a beautiful day in the neighbourhood; would you be mine, could you be mine? Would you be my neighbour? For some reason, any reason, I cannot for the life of me remember who sings that song. I know it is NOT Mr. Dressup.... oh yeah, now I remember, it's Mr. Rogers! Why am I talking about Mr. Rogers? Craig thinks he can tell when I'm high. Says he can see it in my eyes and in my mannerisms or something like that. I finally know what a marijuana high is! Craig bought me a pipe. A HUGE water pipe that looks like a mutant vase. A HUGE BOLD RED ONE. What was I talking about? Oh yes... this pipe. I am so "high" it is a little d-i-f-ic-u-l-t to co nc entrate. I am HAPPY though. I tried THE PIPE. Excellent! Excellent! I felt like a kid whose father bought him his first ice cream. Craig showed me how to use it and with practice I will become used to this. I sincerely feel this was my first real HIGH. I mean there was no drunkeness, no out of control, just a happy light feeling. I feel the best part of being high is how I become more aware of how "everything seems to to have its own sense of importance, and yet at the same time, I am aware of how everything is all connected, like we are all part of the same thing." Craig didn't get that part, and said when people are stoned they say the darndest things and it all makes sense to them but only them. August 18, 1994 I tried not to overdo it. I would take two "hits" with my pipe and I would be able to function normally. There were times when we would be out and it was kind of funny to me, that one leg would be numb and so I would be dragging it and the other leg seemed not to be able to bend and so I would limp on that one. August 20, 1994 ... I have almost mastered the pipe. Light, pull in a deep breath, hold, exhale, -high- pain free. It is totally amazing. One hit and that's it. My normal body is back. -end of story- Marc -- This message from HEMP BC, The Marijuana & Hemp Centre for Greater Vancouver, 324 West Hastings, Vancouver, B.C., Canada V6B 1K6. Ph. 604-681-4620, fax (604) 681-4604. Marc Emery - Proprietor. Devoted associates: Ian Hunter, Danna Rozek. "One cultivates Marijuana, and by marijuana, one is cultivated. "