"Clown Suits", by Keith Lewis

    Dedicated to the late Dr. Seuss, who was kicked out of school for
    hosting a gin party in his dormitory during Alcohol Prohibition.

In the kingdom of Flurgingdom, far far away,
The Flurgers were free to work and to play.

They dry-cleaned their hats; they kept their lawns neat.
They barbequeued corndogs and mystery meat.

Then one day a tailor whose name was MacLunn
Discovered a method for having more fun.

He sewed himself colorful, oversize pants
They made him feel giddy, so taking a chance

He made shoes to match.  He thought they were cute.
Soon he completed a happy clown suit.

He wore his suit happily into the town,
He acted so silly,
the Flurgers all pointed and said "What a clown!"

MacLunn liked the pointing, and dancing a jig,
He sang "Do you have what it takes?  Can you be a clown in a wig?"

The Flurgers all tried it.  Some liked it; the rest
Didn't enjoy wearing big clothes in jest.

The king didn't like it, and gave a decree
That noone would have more pleasure than he.

He made all his scientists study the clothes
Until one said "Clown suits will damage your nose!"

The king had the clown suits gathered and burned.
MacLunn was unhappy, but he had learned

The joy of true clowning, and his nose was alright.
So MacLunn made more clown suits in secret, at night.

He met all his friends with their painted-on faces
At secret clown parties in secret clown places.

They sang and they laughed and they danced on the walls.
The clowns sure had fun at their secret clown balls!

The king was so angry when he heard the news
He declared war on clown suits.  He drafted more Flurgers
To search all the houses for clown pants and wigs and oversize shoes.

When they searched MacLunn's house, a clown suit was found.
MacLunn went to trial for clowning around.

The king said "MacLunn, you should be ashamed
For wearing that clown suit and acting untamed."

MacLunn said "I'm not proud of all that I do,
But if someone here should be ashamed, it is you.

"You make all your Flurgers search houses all day.
They never have time to relax or to play."

The king bent an eyebrow and then raised an ear.
"Is that why there haven't been cookouts this year?"

"This madness must stop", the king said with a frown.
"It isn't a crime to look like a clown."

And with that he dismissed his army of Flurgers
To go and cook corndogs and mystery burgers.

MacLunn is now older and plays a lot less.
But when he he is bored, he puts on -- can you guess?

He puts on his clown suit, big shoes and all,
And goes into town, standing straight, proud, and tall.