FORT HOLLYWOOD WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE "I think you're wild. You're chrome on my cyber, Hollywood Child." -- Elven Ozone, Creamtronic Dreams Disclaimer: Hey! I get to write something for the Anarchists' Guide! Rock on! I've tried to make sure this is as accurate as possible, and I've called on quite a few of my friends to add their comments. Enjoy, chemsabes. Jerry Stratton, Silver Cianide [j--r--y] at [teetot.acusd.edu] LOS ANGELES A SHORT HISTORY OF HELL The first thing people see when flying into Los Angeles at night is the sea of light. Los Angeles is the largest metrozone in North America. Extending from the Angeles National Forest 160 kilometers down to Northern San Clemente, from the Pacific Ocean 100 kilometers to Palm Springs, Los Angeles is solid urbania. There are sections of Los Angeles that haven't been seen by outside eyes for 20 years or more. East Los Angeles and the Watts District are today's versions of our grandparents' uncharted jungles. Who can forget Brigit McSidhe's classic performance in Tarzana of the Jungle? Landing at LAX, Los Angeles is the largest jewel in the world, a nightlight of immense proportions. The third thickest smog in the world makes it sparkle like chrome on a poseur. Describing the lights of Los Angeles in the twentieth century, Douglas Adams said: "... but light is meant to illuminate something, and having driven through what this particularly dramatic sea of light was illuminating they didn't think much of it." Mr. Adams also described Los Angeles as "...being like several thousand square miles of [...] junk mail, but without the same sense of moral depth. Plus the air is, for some reason, yellow." Of course, today it's brown. If you plan on spending any time outside, bring a filter. He makes a good point. Los Angeles is now a rat's maze of walls and highways. In the jungles, there is no law and no escape. All areas around a jungle are walled, with the result being the jungles are walled in. Gangs rule like ancient Irish marauders. >>>[You'll need weaponry in the jungles, but don't flaunt it. People will die for a good weapon in the shit zones of LA, and gang leaders will not hesitate to sacrifice their gangs for a good automatic.]<<< -- Erol Flin (10:11:54/01-01-50) >>>[Don't even be seen with smart goggles. You'll be wading in corpses in seconds.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (09:54:12/01-01-50) HIGHWAYS AND LOWAYS In Los Angeles you only need a drivers' license to drive the highways, since that's the only place where the CHP patrols. Local police will only require that you have a credstick or other form of identification. A drivers' license is a valid form of identification, of course. Highways: 2 Santa Monica Blvd 134 Ventura Frwy 210/30 Foothill Frwy 170 Hollywood Frwy 42/5 Santa Ana Frwy 10 (West) Santa Monica Frwy 110 Harbor/Pasadena Frwy 405 (from 101 to 2) San Diego Frwy 5 (North of 10) Golden State Frwy 10 (West to 210) Santa Monica Frwy 1 Pacific Coast Hwy Loways: 405 (except 101 to 2) San Diego Frwy 101 Ventura/Hlywd Frwy 66 Foothill Blvd 5 (except N of 10) Santa Ana Frwy 10 (East to 210) San Bernardino Frwy 710 (except N of 10) Long Beach Frwy 39 Beach Blvd 72 Whittier Blvd >>>[Last time I was in Hollywood, I was stopped from entering Hwy 101. Security officer recommended I just turn around unless I had an automatic of some kind. I guess the rent-a-car looked too sedate.]<<< -- MicroMara (19:12:34/01-02-50) >>>[You were in LA without a weapon?]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:07:11/01-03-50) >>>[I had an Ingram under the seat, but I wasn't going to show it to a fucking cop!]<<< -- MicroMara (18:49:41/01-03-50) >>>[Why? Cops admire a good weapon as much as anyone else.]<<< -- Security Czech (20:52:02/01-03-50) If you're going to drive a highway, you'll need a permit. Highways are strictly regulated to avoid traffic problems. There are 24 colors, each for a specific hour, and you buy the color(s) you need. The Gold Permit is rare and expensive, but it gives you full access to the highway you ride. The Gold Permit costs 20,000¥. Standard Permits cost 1,200¥, and permits last for one year. You can get a Commuter Permit for 1,800¥, which gives you the choice of two hours, but they must be at least 6 hours apart. If you want one for a prime hour (6,7,8, and 9 in the morning, or 3,4,5,6,7 or 8 in the afternoon), apply early. The waiting period for these ranges from 2-12 months, depending on the highway. Others have a waiting period of from 0 to 11 weeks. If you need to use the highway now, you can wait in the daily lane. This allows you to use the highway once, for up to an hour. You'll need to buy another daily for your return trip. Dailies cost 10¥ normally, 15¥ on weekends (6 PM Friday to 4 AM Monday). >>>[Be prepared to wait up to 3-4 hours on Friday and Saturday nights. And the Hollywood offramps are usually locked out after 11 PM those nights.]<<< -- Thomas Chin (03:39:25/01-03-50) >>>[Damn cruisers.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:09:11/01-03-50) >>>[The chips will stop and arrest anyone driving with an incorrect permit. They do not want another disaster like the Highway 101 fiasco. If you miss your time slot, you've just missed a day of work.]<<< -- MicroMara (19:02:12/01-03-50) >>>[Why not take the bus? They've got Gold Permits.]<<< -- Security Czech (20:58:59/01-03-50) >>>[Sure. And you'll be lucky if any part of your car remains at all in the bus parking lot. They're guarded by incompetent orcs on meth.<<<] -- Bible Bob (00:05:32/01-03-50) >>>[Hey! My brother-in-law is a parking attendant for CalTrans.]<<< -- Erol Flin (10:01:41/01-04-50) >>>[See?]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:29:29/01-04-50) >>>[The best way to get onto the Highway is to rent a car with the right permit. Rent-a-car agencies by permits in allotments. Renting a permit with your car usually adds 20-60¥ per day, depending on the time slot. Or 400-1000¥ for a Gold.]<<< -- Hank Spank Williams (13:21:05/01-04-50) >>>[Don't think you can fool a chip with a colored sticker. The colors of the permit are for you, not the cops. The permits are actually upcoded for ultraviolet scan.]<<< -- Puestiel (14:42:20/01-04-50) >>>[Which brings up a little known fact: when you buy a permit, your name goes into a police file (easy to get into, my decker friends tell me). Chip copters automatically scan every car they pass, and the computer can tell if the car has been reported stolen or if there's anything the police want to talk with you about.]<<< -- MicroMara (18:48:02/01-04-50) >>>[Deckers got friends? Anyway, it also means they keep track of who's been where, don't they?]<<< -- Lester Riverfield (19:18:21/01-04-50) Loways do not require permits. Bring beer, a pizza, and a weapon. You'll be going about two kilometers an hour at best. Many people on the Loways live in their vehicles. >>>[Of course they do. They lost their lease while they were stuck on the road.]<<< -- MicroMara (19:22:34/01-03-50) >>>[The best way to get around on the Loways is by bike. Gotta look out for the assholes, though. Never know when someone's going to swerve or open a door.]<<< -- Erol Flin (10:11:09/01-04-50) >>>[Loway 101 has the best parties]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:37:29/01-04-50) >>>[Make sure your credstick is green. Food copters will lower food, drinks, water, and gas. But it costs. About triple standard prices. Oh, and bring cash or barter for the less legal stuff.]<<< -- Feral (12:03:58/01-04-50) SPECIAL ATTRACTIONS IN LOS ANGELES DISNEYLAND Disneyland was founded nearly a century ago as the dream of pioneer vid animator Walt Disney. Disneyland is by far the best children's show of the awakened world. The Adult price is 40¥, and the Child (14 or under) price is 30¥. >>>[You can get a 10¥ discount at just about any Ralph's. And Disney is always doing special promotions.]<<< -- John (02:33:11/01-02-50) >>>[Disney security is top-notch. They don't want anything screwing up the kiddies' fun. And believe me, they can hide a lot of weaponry inside those stupid costumes.]<<< -- MicroMara (18:57:09/01-04-50) >>>[Who the frag wants to make a run on Disneyland?]<<< -- Feral (12:01:32/01-05-50) THE LA BREA TAR PITS Once a major attraction in Los Angeles (The Rancho La Brea Fossil Pits), the tar pits were purchased by the Thessalonians, an order of mages, in 2032. Originally, their contract required that they keep the tar pits open to the public, but after an altercation with the city, they closed their doors in 2034. >>>[Yeah. The city was none too pleased about the drek going on there. In 2034 a swat team tried going in. The fireworks were incredible, but the mages won. Nobody's been inside the pits since then.]<<< -- Puestiel (14:30:32/01-04-50) >>>[What drek? What were the Thesses doing that the city didn't like enough to risk taking on an order of mages?]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:57:01/01-04-50) Now, the tar pits are covered with a wicker and mud dome, and surrounded by meso-american stonework. Shops nearby sell postcards and other memorabilia. >>>[Yeah, and every morning the stones are covered in graffiti, and every morning they clean it off by nine.]<<< -- Puestiel (14:41:20/01-04-50) THE LOS ANGELES COUNTY MUSEUM OF ART Located at 851 La Cienega, in a relatively decent section of Los Angeles, the LA County Museum of Art has a vast collection of modern and historical art. The Museum specializes in indigenous American artforms - from pre-Columbian Mexico and Peru to that of the Eskimo tribes of UCAS, and colonial America. There are also galleries for the Italian Renaissance, the Dutch Golden Age, French Impressionism, and African post-Awakening. >>>[Heh. I remember when they airlifted all the art out of the original location, on Wilshire Blvd, back in '29.]<<< -- Puestiel (14:49:33/01-04-50) >>>[Anyone know what ever happened to that building?]<<< -- Bible Bob (00:12:57/01-03-50) SOUTH COAST BOTANICAL GARDEN Located at 26300 Crenshaw Blvd, on the Palos Verdes Peninsula, the South Coast Botanic Garden is an amazing sight for most Langelenos. Admission is 5¥ per adult, 2¥ for senior citizens and children. The garden contains a lake, ducks, an orchard, and a wild bird sanctuary. Plants from Mediterranean and African climes join with Southern California plants in this 87-acre planned wilderness. >>>[The garden is a fragging weird place. Every once in a while some enchanter gets the idea that it makes a perfect hunting ground for bio supplies -- Mediterranean and African? What could be better? -- but it's invariably an immense waste of time, effort, and soul. The plants here simply cannot be enchanted.]<<< -- Arden Ariadne (20:50:31/12-30-50) >>>[Yeah. I was one of them. Afterwards, I checked into the history of the thing, and it turns out the gardens are on top of a twentieth century sanitary landfill. And landfill's atop an earlier diatomaceous earth mine. It's no fragging wonder there's no magic left there.]<<< -- John Flaring Tree (09:33:03/01-01-50) HOLLYWOOD Hollywood has walls on three sides, and the fourth side is blocked by the foothills of Mt. Hollywood. Hollywood is walled from Van Ness Avenue in the east to Fairfax Avenue in the west, and Melrose Boulevard in the south. It is bordered by West Hollywood (west), Wilshire (south), and City College (east). Laurel Canyon City is considered by some to be part of Beverly Hills, and Laurel Canyon does cooperate fully with both Hollywood and Beverly Hills officials. Laurel Canyon is the route between Hollywood and Beverly Hills, since West Hollywood is walled out of both places. The Laurel Canyon-West Hollywood wall runs along the south side of Sunset Blvd. On weekends, outsiders try to go over the walls, especially from West Hollywood and City College. >>>[Most succeed. But remember that Hollywood Security shoots to kill. Still, once you're inside, you're safe.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:29:25/01-03-50) >>>[Sure, from Security. But don't wander off the blvd at night!]<<< -- Feral (12:01:11/01-03-50) >>>[The blvd fills up on Friday nights. Most shops stay open well past midnight, if only to protect their stores.]<<< -- Hank Spank Williams (13:33:31/01-04-50) The authorities recommend that tourists take a bus or a cab. There is no parking on weekends unless you get in Friday morning, before the morning rush hour. As office workers leave Hollywood, cruisers come in. >>>[Well, I recommend hiring a helicopter. No telling who you'll meet on a bus.]<<< -- MicroMara (18:37:22/01-02-50) >>>[Since when was an anarchists' guide for drekkin' tourists, anyway?]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:31:21/01-03-50) >>>[Incidentally, Hollywood is a Corp. It's got a CEO and a Board of Directors like any other. And it brings in a ton of Nuyen. Anyone taken a look at their balance sheet recently?]<<< -- Feral (12:39:42/01-03-50) HOTELS IN HOLLYWOOD THE DUNES SUNSET HOTEL & RESTAURANT 5625 Sunset Blvd. (213) 467-5171 The Dunes motel actively seeks the tourist market. It is located near Universal Studios, Dodger Stadium, the Hollywood Convention Center, the Memorial Coliseum, and, of course, Beverly Hills. They provide daily, inexpensive tours through Hollywood, Laurel Canyon, and Beverly Hills. You can expect to pay two times normal prices here. The rooms are small, and the Motel only has ten floors, but it is spread out over nearly an entire block. HOLLYWOOD PALM HOTEL 2005 N. Highland Ave. (213) 850-5811 The Hollywood Palm cultivates an early twentieth-century charm. Near the famous Hollywood Bowl, the Palm is an expensive place for tourists and the hotel of choice for celebrities. The upper 19 floors are reserved for those in the acting profession, and the lower 35 floors are for the general public. The Palm has it's own small city -- twelve restaurants, a bank, a rent-a-car agency, and a small hospital. Expect to pay approximately 4 to 5 times normal for a general-occupancy room in the Hollywood Palm. If you're a celebrity, you can pay up to 10 to 20 times that, but the service is worth it. HOLLYWOOD ROOSEVELT HOTEL 7000 Hollywood Blvd (Hollywood and Orange) (213) 462-5400 The Hotel Roosevelt was built in the early twentieth century, renovated in latter part of the twentieth century, and renovated again in 2029. The upper floors are almost always reserved for acting ensembles and other luminaries. Rates for the lower floors will be about three times that of a comparable hotel elsewhere. Expect to pay ten to 20 times for an upper floor. The Roosevelt now has 50 stories, and sways like a palm tree during an earthquake. There are plans to add another 10 stories to the old hotel. HOTEL HOLLYWOOD 5825 Sunset Blvd (213) 462-5400 The Hotel Hollywood has just been completely renovated. It is now the largest hotel in Hollywood, with 79 floors. >>>[Of course it's just been renovated. Someone blew up the last one.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie [10:20:32/01-03/50] Rates here are only about twice what you'd pay for a comparable hotel room elsewhere. The Hotel Hollywood used to be a seedy place, and hasn't yet moved beyond the tourist industry. You won't find any stars staying at the Hollywood. >>>[You can see the upper floors in the latest Neil sim -- they're using them for the dormitory site.]<<< -- Warner Bones (08:49:31/01-07-50) >>>[There are, of course, dozens upon dozens of seedy dives in this town. You can get away with only moderate prices (a drekky room for what you'd expect to pay for a good one) if you want to.]<<< -- Feral (12:21:19/01-07-50) HYATT ON SUNSET 8401 Sunset Blvd (213) 656-4101 The Hyatt is located between Beverly Hills and Hollywood. It's south side overlooks the Laurel Canyon-West Hollywood wall, and the north side overlooks the Hollywood Hills (Laurel Canyon). The Hyatt is a favorite of corps types. Corporation meetings and continental conferences are regularly held at the Hyatt. Expect to pay three to five times normal for a room here. Many corporations have a discount at the Hyatt, so check with your boss first. >>>[My boss? Somehow I don't think the Ripper has a working relationship with the Hyatt on Sunset.]<<< -- MicroMara (18:46:20/01-02-50) HOLLYWOOD COLUMBIA RECORDS AND CHIPS Like most record companies, CRC maintains a sizeable presence in Hollywood. Columbia, however, is much more ostentatious than others. Their building is built with floors that look vaguely like 80 disks stuck one on top of the other. >>>[They'll charge you 1¥ for a tour of the place. But no free handouts.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie [10:20:15/01-05/50] GUITAR CENTER OF HOLLYWOOD The famous Guitar Center chain's main store is on Sunset Boulevard near the border between Hollywood and Laurel Canyon. See the axes made famous by Paul Gilbert, Eddie Van Halen, Riot Tenzine and Torquemada, among many, many others. >>>[Of course, if you don't want to spend quite so much, or the sight of sleeze bothers you, there are about a dozen other music stores in the same three block area.]<<< -- Silver Cianide (10:21:51/01-03-50) HOLLYWOOD BOWL Just head on up Highland Avenue or Cahuenga, and signs will direct you to the famous Hollywood Bowl. The Bowl is a wonderful concert hall. It's surrounded by the Hollywood Bowl theme park. The theme park is only 2¥ if you have a ticket for a Bowl event, or 10¥ otherwise (8¥ Seniors and children). During the summer, the Los Angeles Philharmonic plays here regularly. Most rock and pop tours pass through the Bowl on their way through the CFS. >>>[The Bowl is truly a wonderful place to hear music. It's like listening to Bach somewhere deep beneath the earth.]<<< -- MicroMara (18:49:41/01-02-50) THE HOLLYWOOD CHRISTMAS PARADE For over 120 years the Hollywood Christmas Parade has been a staple of the Christmas season on the North American continent. Even in the depths of the VITAS plague, Hollywood continued to present us with a cheering spectacle of lightness and goodwill. The parade is usually the Sunday following the third Thursday of November, for historical reasons. Many Hollywood civic groups participate, as do many celebrities. Since 2035, the Screen Actors Guild has provided a yearly show of wage mage actors sure to warm the heart. >>>[Bleah! Bleah, bleah bleah!]<<< -- Hank Spank Williams (13:42:31/01-11-50) THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN The sign was originally built with mules and wagons in 1923. It was destroyed in 1978, and restored in the same year, this time with helicopters. Then, the sign was mostly cement, 45 feet high and 450 feet wide. In 2032, the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce decided to bring the sign up to date, and after a five year celebrity fund-raising campaign, the familiar laser-light auto-stim sign was put in place. The sign is part of Griffith Park, near the Griffith Park Astronomical Museum. >>>[Believe it or not, the Griffith Park Rangers are trouble to mess with. I guess after the Lord Holies tried to blow up the sign in '47, Hollywood decided to hire some professionals.]<<< -- Feral (13:01:53/01-07-50) >>>[Old news. Sure, they did hire some pretty expert people in '48 and '49, but 'cost-cutting measures' forced them to go back to standard security in '50. So if you want to make a run on the sign (why?) you shouldn't have any problem.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie [10:15:28/01-08-50] THE HOLLYWOOD STRIP The place to be in Hollywood on the weekends is the strip. Hollywood Boulevard is half of it. The other half is Sunset Boulevard. Take your car, your bike, or your feet, and drive from Hollywood Boulevard to Vine Street to Sunset Boulevard (or, if you're feeling adventurous, Melrose Boulevard), to . Don't take Orange, the lights only work half the time. And just keep circling. Stop in at the Sunset Grill for a burger if you're not worried about your health. And bring a gas mask. >>>[Like filters aren't SI in Hollywood anyway? Yo, waitress! I'd like a burger and a side order of emph, to go!]<<< -- Hank Spank Williams (13:35:51/01-11-50) >>>[Designer filters are all the rage. You can pick them up at most shops on the boulevard. Everywhere but Hollywood, air filters are white and boring.]<<< -- Warner Bones [08:43:32/01-07-50] One of the first things you'll notice on Hollywood Boulevard and Vine Street are the stars on the sidewalk. Don't look down too much, those holograms can get very disorienting. >>>[That's verity. I've seen people trip over themselves and fall into the street because of those things. Fortunately, traffic never moves faster than a crawl.<<< -- Warner Bones (09:01:55/01-07-50) These are dedications to entertainment stars of the past and present. If a star has died recently, you'll see a light display and flowers above their star. >>>[Heh. When Charlie Sheen died, the faux-fleurs and holo-deds came in from everywhere. They had to set up a special viewing room somewhere else, because it blocked the boulevard. And we don't let nothing block the boulevard.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie [10:35:09/01-03/50] THE MELROSE WALL On Melrose Boulevard you can see the South Wall -- it's right behind the buildings. >>>[You can usually find a couple of bodies there as well.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:49:20/01-03-50) MUSICIANS INSTITUTE McCadden and Hawthorne Hidden just off Hollywood Boulevard (and in the shadow of the Hollywood Dianetics Building), Musicians Institute has been churning out speed guitarists, bassists, drummers, synthists, and vocalists since the twentieth century. As their alumni, they boast of such historic greats as Paul Gilbert, Adrian Anders, Nathan Holm, Meci Abroux, and Teleri Orloff. Elven Ozone's bassist Mike Orgone swears by his BIT (Bassist Institute of Technology) training. If you're interested in honing your chops, seriously consider spending a year with the Institute. THE NEW ORC WAX MUSEUM Hollywood and Highland Once the Hollywood Wax Museum, this is one of the oldest institutions in Hollywood. All the stars of today and yesterday are sculpted in life- like wax. You can have your picture taken with anyone from Dunkelzahn to Neil the Ork Barbarian. >>>[The best museum is their basement. They don't re-use their wax, just in case some of these has-beens ever come back into style. They've got a basement full of old and long-forgotten actors.]<<< -- Warner Bones (09:23:21/01-07-50) >>>[The reason they don't re-use them is that the real bodies are underneath the wax, drek-head.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:21:39/01-02-50) THE SUNSET STRIP For most people, Sunset Boulevard is the other half of the Strip. It doesn't have the proliferation of small shops that Hollywood Boulevard does but it does have a couple of nice minimalls and more established fast food joints. >>>[The best record stores are on Melrose, chummer.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:39:21/01-03-50) >>>[Yeah, but if you want a guitar, go all the way to the end of Sunset. Start at Guitar Center, and wander in a blissful haze.]<<< -- Silver Cianide (10:45:35/01-03-50) XIAO'S CHINESE THEATRE Hollywood and Orange, Xiao Inc. Calling this Xiao's Theater is a minor misnomer. All the film theaters on the Hollywood and Sunset Boulevards are Xiao's. The Chinese, however, is the first of the Hollywood empire. It started as Graumann's Chinese Theater sometime in the last century, but was bought out immediately and renamed Mann's Chinese Theater. Mann's expanded throughout Hollywood, and Xiao Inc. inherited it when they bought Mann's in 2029. DIANETICS VS. THE UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD There is a war being fought, a war for the hearts and minds of the people of Los Angeles. This is a war between the established forces of L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics and the usurpers from the North, The Universal Brotherhood. >>>[Heh. I've got it on real good authority that the only thing keeping the UB from wiping their leather with Dianetics is something they want real quiet.]<<< -- Chrome Charlie (10:30:39/01-04-50)