From: [v--n] at [netcom.com] (Victor Tan) Newsgroups: rec.guns Subject: New Gun Owner - Part 4 (Long) Date: 4 Jul 1994 23:21:18 -0400 This part is a little different from the rest. The first 3 dealt with much of acquiring my first firearm and various questions on the direct aspects of acquisition, shooting and technical aspects. This part has to do with myself as a person and the transformation from effectively a stranger to personal ownership of a firearm to joining the ranks of 50-60 million Americans that own a firearm. I guess I am writing this both for myself and the general readership of rec.guns. Both non-owners and the more experienced owners may enjoy this part. Regardless, you can always press 'n'. This part had to deal with the many internal emotions and questions and mental goings on that I underwent. Apologies in advance for writing/expression that is not as good as it should be. What got me started ------------------- My background to firearms has been extremely limited. There were only two occasions in my life where I knew people that personally owned firearms. The first was a friend's father who had a 30-03 rifle, a .38 revolver and a .22LR rifle. The second was a fellow teaching assistant in school that had semi-auto handgun that was probably a Beretta. All I remember about the second one was how heavy it was. One aspect of this country that had always struck me as different was the fact that it allowed common citizens to own firearms. I could understand quite easily the hunting for food or sport aspects as well as the personal defense aspects as valid 'reasons'. It was just a little alien and negative for me to consider owning one personally for defense and the concept of possibly killing someone was almost frightening. I thought, "Gee, pepper sprays are great ideas. I don't have to hurt him permanently." or "Taking a person's life is somehow _very_ wrong. I shouldn't do it" or "The police should be able to do something to protect me. They respond quickly enough." The thought that the very reason that this country allows firearms ownership due to the Constitution seemed perfunctory. Almost like incidental in nature and open to different interpretations. Basically, firearm ownership was special and different and scary! I knew that the NRA was the foremost organization and I sort of were sympathetic to their ads on TV and radio. However, I also believed that an in-between position was the best for all concerned. Some compromise is best for everyone. After all, life is precious and governments are reasonable. The only place I saw guns were on movie screens (aka Arnold Schw.. and Sly Stallone and various westerns), evening news (aka guns for something, seizures from 'criminals' [ why would anyone need more than 5 guns? He _must_ be a criminal ]) and books on history. Of course, I am skipping the aspects of soldiers and police officers. It seemed natural that police officers and soldiers should be having guns and so the fear aspect never crept in but show me a civilian with a gun and I went 'Whoa. Who is this guy?' through my mind. All that was true until that fateful day May 5th, 1994. Here I was. Someone basically scared of guns and following the news, now upset that real choices were being taken away. When I found out about the limitations on magazines and 180+ more rifles by characteristics when the news and politicians, I knew they were up to something. The next thing I knew, I was asking on rec.guns what I should get for home defense. I received a whole slew of advice and questions to ask myself and a few days later, I went to the store that I found in the Yellow Pages(c);-) I guess I was driven somewhat by simmering anger and disgust. "I am going to get one and learn how to use it and take the risk of having one in the house because they may all be gone tomorrow the way they are acting now." A lack of knowledge added to the nervousness and a lack of direct guidance (other than rec.guns) made me uncertain and afraid of a poor purchase. The Purchase ------------ I stepped into the store. My first time in one too. I looked into the glass display cabinets and went 'Whew! You mean that there are so many possibilities? That one looks _BIG_! That one can't be that small. There are so many people in here. They must all be more experienced than I. I feel real small being in here and hearing the way these people talk about numbers/calibers and actions and brand names. Maybe I shouldn't be here. Maybe this isn't for me... No! There is no need to be afraid and the mighty dollar is what makes me a customer and they will help me." All these thoughts and more went through my mind like wildfire. I had sort of narrowed my list down to a Glock or Sig. The Sigs were noticably more expensive so Glock it was. The salesman showed me a Glock 17, then 19 when I mentioned that I wanted a caliber that did not have too much recoil. In my ignorance (which was nothing to be ashamed of), I felt that recoil was a bigger issue in my mind than other aspects. Well, newbies often decide or choose based on ignorance and myths of guns, bullets, recoil, penetration and capacity caused by the movies and newspapers. That is how 'stupid' many of us new owners are. We didn't or don't have dads that teach us about hunting or shooting. We often don't have friends or relatives that even talk to us or tell us that they go to the range. The 9mm Glock 17 was nice. It felt good, not too big and good 17 round capacity in the magazine. 17 rounds seemed like more than necessary for me but 'Better safe than sorry'. The price on the Glock 19 was the same so why give up for size? Questions in my mind were raised by the effectiveness (no flames please - this is newbie thinking) of a 9mm. So I asked about a 40S&W. The salesman told me a little about how popular it was getting and yes, it is substantially larger. Glock 22 and 23 could handle it. Same frame size but give up 2 rounds. Not too bad a compromise. .45 or 10mm? None in stock and I wasn't going to wait. Buy now, possibly regret later but definitely not regret next week when it is all gone. Look at the crowd! They are thinking of buying ANYTHING and EVERYTHING! Credit card came out and forms filled. You can pick it up next week. OK. Thanks. And then I noticed that the bangs in the indoor range behind the counter had been contributing to my nervousness and alight anxiety. Are guns _that_ loud? Am I going to be shooting something _that_ powerful!? Maybe this is a mistake. Back to rec.guns and more advice poured in. These guys are great! That's all you guys out there. They have educated me personally through email and postings to my initial query. Much of it answered many questions that were just beginning to come up and it made me much less anxious and more willing to learn more. The Slow Transformation ----------------------- As part of the purchase there was a safety class. I went for that and was taught about the mechanical aspects of guns. A real eyeopener. Cartriges of various calibers were shown and explaine. Now I knew what SWC and JHP and TMJ meant. I learned what double action or single action meant. Slides, extractors, primers, front and rear sights... I learned what they were and I felt a wave of ignorance leaving me. I felt a great deal more ready. In fact, the yearning to shoot was starting to get to me and the fear of guns started to leave me. That single class contributed so much to my understanding and education that it was invaluable. I've previously written about the first time I shot at the range. Basically, I rented a .22 Browning Buckmark and shot that. Nervousness had returned to me because here was the 'dangerous' part. Real bullets. They can kill and they do go BANG! You've never done this before. But I can. (Sorry for the bad narration) To make a long story shot. The .22 was fun by the time I shot the 20th round. The Glock 22 kicked a h*ll of a lot more than the .22LR and I truly respected the power of a real caliber. My marksmanship was to lousy to say the least but the most important thing was that I was learning. Anxiety ebbed away by the end of 20 minutes and fear wsa gone. Respect and education caution had replaced it. Truly, for the first time, I Understood. More rec.guns and online time. With Larry Craig's exchange with the BATF and more news on TV, I now felt insulted that there were some politicians that could lie through their very teeth. The media was so biased that if there was a law to punish them for inaccuracy and unfairness, they would have gotten it every night. My political awareness increased at the same time my understanding of firearms and technical knowledge increased. The arguments of the gun control freaks (gun-grabbers, gun-banners etc) rang hollow and had no logic or reason. Even a newbie like myself could see the falsehoods and lies being perpetrated because I had learned the facts. I learned more about the 2nd Amendment through talk.politics.guns. Suffice it to say that the truth had changed me. Email came to me from all kinds of people including anti-gunners. One of them tried to reason with me. If his points had truly been logical then I would have considered them. However, such was not the case. There were some that firearm ownership was ancillary to the real cause. Those I reserved my judgement and still do. Most were helpful and I could never have gotten this far without all the viewpoints that have been expressed. As for my original purpose of home defense, we feel much more confident now. Although we do not live in a high crime area like D.C., we live near enough to it and we know that criminals from D.C. come out to the suburbs. At least now we feel that we have a last line of defense that is going to be respectable instead of being helpless. We've also upped the security of our domicile. We've gotten a Door Club and that should buy us at least a couple of minutes with most intruders if not discourage them totally. Final Comments -------------- Thank you for staying with me this far. I don't know how many of you have read this whole thing or whether it makes a difference in any way. I just wanted to share these past 1.5 months and perhaps remind current firearms owners how newbies may feel and think. Many I am sure are considering becoming one but have been or will be stopped by any of the number of things that could have stopped me. Fear of a gun. Fear of accidents. The Power of a gun. Ignorance of handling and safety. Fooling themselves that they don't need it when they actually do. Avoidance. Fear of the unknown. Overwhelmed by choices. A whole new and different culture. Cynicism of the NRA. Brainwashing by the media and anti-gunners. Any of these can stop someone. We have a responsibility to at least help many overcome these obstacles and educate them. This is no time to be complacent or uninvolved in helping them. Thanks for reading. - Victor Tan