The Gardener’s Song

by Lewis Carroll

This is the gardener’s song from Carroll’s Silvie and Bruno. In the story, it is spread throughout the entire text.

He thought he saw an Elephant,
  That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
   A letter from his wife.
“At length I realise”, he said,
  “The bitterness of Life!”

He thought he saw a Buffalo
   Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
   His Sister’s Husband’s Niece.
“Unless you leave this house”, he said,
  “I’ll send for the Police!”

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
   That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
   The Middle of Next Week.
“The one thing I regret”, he said,
   “Is that it cannot speak!”

He thought he saw a Banker’s Clerk
   Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Hippopotamus:
“If this should stay to dine”, he said,
   “There wo’n’t be much for us!”

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
   That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Vegetable-Pill.
“Were I to swallow this”, he said,
   “I should be very ill!”

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
   That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Bear without a Head.
“Poor thing,” he said, “poor silly thing!
   It’s waiting to be fed!”

He thought he saw an Albatross
   That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
“You’d best be getting home,” he said:
   “The nights are very damp!”

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
   That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Double Rule of Three:
“And all its mystery”, he said,
   “Is clear as day to me!”

He thought he saw an Argument
   That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
   A Bar of Mottled Soap.
“A fact so dread”, he faintly said,
   “Extinguishes all hope!”

The Gardener’s Song

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