Negative Space: Mark Steyn

I work at home, and I have found that this arrangement has a tremendous potential for personal growth, because nobody will notice if you eat as many as 20 lunches per day. Plus you have no incentive to take showers, which results in personal growths in your armpits, which tends to limit your social life. If you have dogs, which I do, you find yourself talking to them a lot, not in a condescending manner, but as equals. Eventually you abandon personal hygiene altogether and degenerate into a primitive life form, living in your underwear and licking Cheez Whiz directly out of the jar. When delivery people come, you bark and try to sniff their privates. — Dave Barry