Lawbreaker

Feel like breaking the law?

Got a mean streak in you? Or do you just want the vicarious jackrabbit thrill that comes from leaping before the oncoming headlights? Welcome to Jerry Stratton’s gen-u-wine collection of in-your-face paraphenalia from sources across the net, including alt.sex.stories. Better watch that twitchy mouse finger, kid. Click it on the wrong place and you’ll initiate a transmission across a telecommunications network!

• Wear a finger condom at all times when reading these stories.
• More information about the bill that inspired this page.
• Oops! Did you roll some dice on the Internet? You just won an all-expenses-paid trip to the hoosegow!
• Here’s an easy way to break the law: refuse to purchase firearms from Smith & Wesson. Refuse to purchase firearms at any gun store that carries Smith & Wesson. Then, call up the Attorney General and tell her that. Tell her it wasn’t just your idea, you read it on a web page. Then get ready for the lawsuits to start rolling. You scofflaw, you just joined the vast right-wing conspiracy to... not buy guns!
• And if you’re a seventeen-year-old in Virginia and you like this page, consider hiring me to write your web pages. Oops, does that make this a commercial use of smut?

New on In Your Face:

• I Kings 13
• Common Sense, by Thomas Paine
• The Black Man as a Cash Crop, by Xona

Very Happy Women by Anonymous

It’s about as much of a turn-on as watching surgery, but this anonymous guide to oral sex is about as graphic as you’re going to get.

Gilligan’s Island: Passion Fruit by Shelby Bush

Six years alone on an island, what do you expect? The biggest mistake most pundits make is forgetting about Lovey. She’s been stuck with Thurston Howell the Third for far more than six years. But what’s Robin Hood got to do with anything?

Sexual Adventures of the Smurfs by Salvatore Cavaleri

And you wondered why Smurfs were blue...

I Kings 13

God tells you not to listen to people who say that they know better than you what God has said.

The Constitution of the United States of America, by right-wing militias of 1789

The most in-your-face document of all... the paper that three out of four Americans believe is a communist plot... the Bill of Rights!!!!
Your mileage may vary...

Common Sense, by Thomas Paine

In 1776 this document was so incendiary that people learned to read just to be able to read it. The Weekly World News ain’t got nothing on Thomas Paine.

The Exon Song, by an unknown author

I can just imagine Mel Tormé on this one...

Nazis and U.S. Politics, by Thomas Colton Ruthford

I remember the Nazis, Senator, and you’re...

Your Health is Everything, by Greg Swann

Freedom? Five bucks. Health? Five bucks. Inciteful Fiction? Free!

Red and Sloppy Meat is Delicious by godsgiftmaggot

My personal favorite, and the only story in the whole set that I’d have on Cerebus even without stupid laws.

Victimless Crime My Ass, by Neckroph

Don’t bother e-mailing me your anger. The Vets did not fight and die so that a few could run my and your life. They died for freedom: everyone’s and anyone’s.

If You Support Prohibition..., by tornado@best.com

What do you support if you support prohibition? Violence, drugs in schools, addicted children, war in faraway places, locusts, floods, and the fires of hades.

The Black Man as a Cash Crop, by xona@primenet.com

“The growing of Black-Americans for profit is one of the great business success stories in world history.” Don’t pull any punches there, Xona...

What do you mean, Information Highway?, by an unknown person

AOL is a busload of ebola victims? Who is this? And where can I get the drugs they’re taking?

Who Was Martin Niemoller?, by an unknown author

“First, they came for the Jews...” Who wrote that, and why?

FireBlade Editorials

Gosh, the standard editorials look pretty reasonable compared to this page, don’t they?

Old, Unused Term Papers and Reports.

Excuse me? You mean even my stupid old high school term papers are ‘in your face’? That’s the case in Texas as of September 1, 1997: the law makes me a criminal if I “should reasonably have known that a person intends to use them to satisfy an academic requirement”. Come on, somebody out there is going to be stupid enough to try and pass one of my mediocre papers off as their own. I’ve been working for years to convince people to put their studies, reports, and papers on-line and share their data. Is that now a subversive act? Heads up, Texas. Maybe it ought to be illegal to prepare, pass, or encourage laws when the person knows, or should reasonably have known, that the law in question is silly as hell.

How to Smoke Dopey Laws

This one’s for all of you in Illinois, especially Gerald Mitchell: If you roll dried marijuana into rolling papers, light one end, and suck the smoke in from the other end, you might get high! You want to hold the smoke in your lungs for a couple of seconds. Don’t worry if you feel the urge to cough. If you can hold it, hold, otherwise just try again. Practice, practice, practice!

Off the Shelf

Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do

Peter McWilliams died in defense of freedom: this book, an incredibly well-written and well-researched book about “the absurdity of consensual crimes in a free society” was probably his death warrant.
Buy Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do at Amazon!
Search for more items by Peter McWilliams
Read a longer review of Ain’t Nobody’s Business If You Do

Anarchist Archive

Works by Emma Goldman, Max Stirner, Peter Kropotkin, and info about the Haymarket Massacre, the Spanish Civil War and other Anarchist highlights.

CensorWare

Wonderful overview of the antics of web page blockers. Find out which net blocker won’t let you view the N.O.W. web page, and which blocker won’t let you view the U.S. constitution.

Doe

You’ve seen the movie, now read the book! This is what life’s really like for small-town Michigan prosecutors. Personally, I find this more silly than disgusting, but, as always on the net, and your mileage may vary. “For those of you who do, I write this to turn you on. For those of you who don’t, I write this to annoy you. Either way, have an opinion. The greatest insult to a writer is not to have any feelings for his work.”

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Perhaps the purest of Thompson’s searches for the American Dream because it is untainted by politics; or perhaps the most pointless for the same reason, as politics have tainted the American Dream since the Adams anti-sedition acts almost as soon as the country was born.
Buy Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas at Amazon!
Buy Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Movie, 1998) at Amazon!
Buy Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (Criterion) at Amazon!
Search for more items by Hunter S. Thompson
Read a longer review of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

It Isn’t Murder If They’re Yankees

Carolyn Purcell hunts down “The Quiet Man”, a Washington, DC serial killer in Virginia.

J. Neil Schulman

“A madman with a gun is news. A hero with one isn’t.”

Munitions T-Shirt

Now you can wear a T-shirt that has been classified as a munition by the US Goverment. That's right! The US International Traffic in Arms Regulations (ITAR) makes exporting cryptographic materials illegal. The Munitions T-shirt has a Perl implementation of the RSA algorithm (the one used by PGP) printed on the front along with a bar-code of the same algorithm.

PeaceFire

An organization of teen-agers against censorship. Worth a look, especially if you’re a teen victim of censoring software. “It’s not a crime to be smarter than your parents.”

People With Strength

In North Carolina in 1957 Klan attacks resulted in Blacks in Monroe County joining the NRA and receiving firearms training: and Klan attacks stopped.

The Gullibility Virus

Another inciteful take on these idiot viruses hanging around the net. (Disable that annoying Geocities pop-up by turning Javascript off in your “Preferences”, usually under your “Edit” menu.)

The Libertarian Enterprise

L. Neil Smith is never boring. Also, join the “Bill of Rights Enforcement” movement.

The Munitions Web Page

That image off to the right? That’s an explosive! I’d be careful on this web page if I were you. Just by viewing it, you’re an arms trafficker.

The Shopping Cart Graveyard

Arthur teams up with a paraplegic named Voniece to save the Earth from marauding llamas and politicians.

Thomas Jefferson Archive

The University of Virginia presents, as part of their on-line text center, more than 1,700 writings by or to Thomas Jefferson, including an archive, sorted by topic, of quotations. This is a great site if you are at all interested in one of the main firebrands of the revolutionary period, one of the earliest liberals in the United States.

Walkerville Weekly Reader

“Sic Semper Hypocritae” is their slogan. Sam seems to be a real druggie, and I didn’t know Iranian nationals were allowed to carry firearms?

How to maximize your law-breaking.

Just grabbing one of those files isn’t enough for you, is it? You need to back over the corpse a few times. Want to test the limits of congressional authority? Try these sure-fire, guaranteed-2-please lawbreakn’ tips. Boy, you just don’t know when to quit, do you?

• Send a copy to your spouse and ask their opinion. Ooops, broke the law again. Did I hear footsteps outside?
• Print a copy(1). Chances are, your printer is on a telecommunications network of some kind. You just broke the law again! Hear the breaking glass?
• Put up a copy on your own web site. Tell all your friends! Let them initiate the transmission this time. Uh oh. You’re contributing to the delinquency of adults. Don’t you have any shame? Hear the scream? That’s your cat they just crushed with their boots.
• Download a copy, if you’re on another computer, or upload it if you’re on your own. And keep a close eye on that barrel. It’s pointed at you.
• Turn yourself in to your elected representative! When you write your congressperson, include a quote from the story. Not only will you be breaking the law, but if they go and print it out to report you, or forward the message to the secret police, they’ll be breaking the law, too!
  • Make sure you point this out to them in large bloody letters, so they can’t claim they did it ‘unknowingly’.
• See those dice at the top of the page? They’re standard dice, and they change every time you reload the page. Go make a few bets with your friends... and with Uncle Sam.

Footnotes

1. I recommend using some form of woodfree paper, such as hemp paper. No reason to punish the trees just because you’re feeling a little anti-social.

Comments?

If you have comments or questions about this page, please, leave a message on the Negative Space Comments Page.

Jerry